just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
it's like heaven, but drunker
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize