You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
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Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
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Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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