The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
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She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize