Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
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