Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
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I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
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I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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