I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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