I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize