Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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