She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize