we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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