cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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