oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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