I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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