Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
