I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize