thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
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Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
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As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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