u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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