dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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