I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i drank out of a bidet.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize