At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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