He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
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My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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