Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize