The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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