My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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