he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
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The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
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It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize