hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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