Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize