I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize