Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize