i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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