Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
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Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
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so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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