hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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