if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize