He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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