When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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