Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize