Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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