When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize