4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize