I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize