Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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