So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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