I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize