im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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