please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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