Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize