never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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