oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
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he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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