I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize