And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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